Vampire: Real or fake

November 17, 2008 at 1:44 pm (Entertainment, Twilight, Vampires)


On the cusp of the release of Twilight I find myself obsessing about vampires even more than usual. When I fall for something I fall HARD! That alone doesn’t bother me but I fear people think of me as a freak, my sister especially. I know she thinks I’m going to hell because of my likes. That’s what bothers me.

I realized lately I’ve found myself wishing with all my heart and soul vampires were real. I wish one would find me, fall completely and irrevocably in love, convert me and make me beautiful or at least make me feel beautiful. In a way that feels so wrong to me but overshadowing it is how much it feels so right.

If vampire are real where are they hiding? Are they all holed up somewhere in Transylvania? Can they sense those people that are yearning for some sort of contact? I truly believe that vampires would not be wholly evil. My ideals are the Edwards and the Henrys.

I feel so lost and alone in a world where the majority of the population would either have me commited or at least laugh at me and tell me to stop being ridiculous. I’m even worried about letting my online community of friends know how I feel for fear they would laugh at me. Deep down I know they won’t but the fear is still there. I care so much about what they think I would be devastated if they laughed, or worse, stopped talking to me. They are my biggest and best support system I have.

My mom knows of my interest in vampires but she doesn’t know how much of an obsession it is. She saw the books I have been reading and she asked me if everything was vampires now. I told her not exactly just so I wouldn’t have to see the disappointment in her eyes.

I don’t need people laughing at me, I need people to except me for who I am. I feel that most people I know don’t.


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November 20, 2008 at 12:14 pm (Entertainment, Twilight, Vampires) (, , , , , )

With the current excitement of Twilight being released tomorrow I sit here listening to it’s soundtrack for like the hundredth time since buying it since last week. I have seriously not been this excited over a vampire movie in so long.

I love the angsty, forbidden love. The one where the characters think, “You die, I die” They can’t live without each other. Something about it pulls at my heartstrings and makes me yearn for my own angst ridden romance.

The songs on this soundtrack match so perfectly to the story. I have found myself trying to imagine what part of the movie each song could be paired with. There is even a song that Robert Pattinson sings and plays the guitar. It’s very very good.

The casting of Kristen Stewart as Bella Swan and Robert Pattinson as Edward Cullen is pure genius. In my opinion they fit the roles so perfectly and from all the clips I have seen they seem to have this amazing chemistry. I never though of Robert Pattinson as HOT before but make anyone a vampire and I totally lust after them. Well everyone except Tom Cruise. BLECH! If they can sing and play instruments that’s even better to me.

So anyway I wanted to share my excitement for this “Oh So Awesome” movie and pray to God that it doesn’t dissappoint although I have a feeling it won’t.

Oh and did I mention that I’m a little more then 10 years older then the characters.


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I just had a revelation!

June 5, 2008 at 11:30 am (About Absolutely Nothing) (, , )

I have been agonizing over turning 30 this month. Why? It’s just a number. I don’t feel 30. Why have I been so upset over turning 30? Because society and the media tells us that it means your getting old. Society and media can go take a long jump off a short pier.
I refuse to conform to what society says is the image we should follow. That’s not me and I will not let someone else change me just to make them feel better. Screw whoever them is!
I need to take care of me first. Everyone else can just wait until I’m ready to worry about them.

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Why can’t people butt out of my life and let me live it the way I want?

June 5, 2008 at 11:29 am (About Absolutely Nothing) (, , )

I am so perturbed right now. I am having a Partylite party on the 18th. One of the women in customer service came over to look at the catalogues. I told her I was upset because they didn’t have fairy stuff anymore. She said “You need to get out of the fairy phase. You’re gonna be 30 this month. You need to get into grown up things.”
Everybody in the surrounding cubicles had to overhear and chime in. “You can’t eat macaroni and cheese past the college years. You really need to start doing grown up things”
I told them “Why do I have to stop liking these things because I get another year older? I’m not going to all of a sudden stop liking things because you tell me I have to because I’m going to be 30. If I like fairies and dragons and unicorns and they make me happy I am not going to change that fact just because you tell me too.”
God who are they to tell me what to do and eat because I am not young anymore.
Everybody needs to friggin butt out and let me live my life the way I want to. They need to go worry about their lives and what their friggin kids are doing and leave me alone.

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Why can’t I treat myself better?

May 8, 2008 at 12:39 pm (About Absolutely Nothing) (, , , )

Ok so I’m posting this because I am bored and I have to get it out there.

I feel like I am invisible to everyone around me. I feel useless and stupid. I have no husband, boyfriend, etc, no kids and I feel like I am being used by my sister because of it. She is always trying to change me. She has repeatedy told my to cut my hair, get a new car, get a new job. Hah! In todays economy I’m lucky to have a job! I feel she thinks everything I do that doesn’t have to do with God is a sin. She doesn’t say it but it seems she is thinking it.

I feel like a failure who isn’t good at anything I do. I am stuck on writing, have tried drawing but I’m stuck there to. I would like to be great at just one thing. Have people look at whatever I did be it writing, drawing, whatever and say “OMG that is amazing. You are so good at this.” I guess I don’t get enough praise and I’m just looking for attention. What’s wrong with that?

Sometimes I wish I could go to sleep and not wake up. I am always beating myself up over things that I have done wrong. “I’m so stupid. You freaking idiot. Why did you do that? Get a life. Get a husband. Have some kids.” I know it is all my fault for feeling this way but I can’t get over it. The world is a beautiful place (well for the most part). Why can’t I just see the beauty in it and be happy?

Then driving home from my other sister’s house after babysitting when I was feeling really low and wishing that I could go to sleep and never wake up somebody sent me a sign. All of a sudden two doe appeared in front of my car and just stood there starring at me in the middle of the road. They weren’t frightened at all. They then continued walking across the road to safety. Somebody must have been hearing me berate myself and wanted to tell me to shut up and enjoy what I do have.

I often need to remind myself of it but when I do I feel better.

Sometimes I feel so lonely. My best friend has not called me or come to see me since coming back from Florida two weeks ago. Her phone is turned off (yet she has access to other phones) and she has my house key since she was supposed to watching my cat although my brother said she hadn’t been there the last two days of my trip. Some friend she is. She is really pissing me off. I don’t have the time to drive all over the town looking for her. I don’t have the money to spend on gas doing that either. Grrrrrrrr! I have gone to her house a couple time to see if she is there and she’s not.

I feel like no one cares while at the same time wondering if my family and friends really do love. I guess my best friend doesn’t though or she would make an effort to see me.

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My attempt at art

May 2, 2008 at 10:36 am (My art) ()


So here is what I have doodled. Honestly I think they are pretty awesome for someone who doesn’t know what the hell she is doing. This is the first time using artist pastels. I have to dig out the ones I have done in colored pencils.

This is my Forest Sunset

This is My Daffodil

And this is Elephant in the Sky. If you look hard the cloud does look like an elephant. It was totally not deliberate.

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Hey Blood Ties people!

April 1, 2008 at 3:01 pm (Entertainment) (, , , )

Check this link out! It is an oh so awesome article concerning Blood Ties. The descriptions are amazing. The descriptions of Henry alone would have me clamoring to watch the show if I hadn’t already done that.

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International Renew Blood Ties Day

March 10, 2008 at 3:01 pm (Entertainment) (, , , )


As many of my friends know, March 11 is the one year anniversary of my all time fave show Blood Ties. We are going all out today to get the show the recognition it deserves and get it renewed. Post anywhere and everywhere you can think of.

This is real important people. We can’t let a show like this die without the chance it deserves. Go to Lifetime and attack them, post on all related forums, Go to kyleskorner and let your voices be heard.

 Remember: Do not go gentle into that good night. Fight! Fight! Fight!

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Save Blood Ties Campaign WE’RE NOT DEAD YET!

January 29, 2008 at 6:31 pm (Entertainment)


Let the campaign begin!!!!!

Here are all of the details for the new campaign!

If you want this show back you HAVE TO participate – so send as many letters and emails as possible. This is our last chance so let’s make it count!!!! )


Blood Ties Fans Bite Back!
Fans unite to save the show they love. Join us in the fight!

There have been many rumors and speculation circulating regarding the fate of our beloved show but know this, NOTHING IS OFFICIAL! There is still a chance to save the show so now is the time to do it!

The most important aspect is that ALL Blood Ties fans join together to make this happen. There are many websites, forums, MySpace, Livejournal, blogs and Yahoo groups out there relating to Blood Ties and all have tried their own campaigns to help the show and that was not a bad thing but I think as our last push to save the show we need to prove to the Networks and the media that we are UNITED as one large group to save the show we love.

Several of us from many of the BT related groups and sites have put our heads together and came up with a campaign that we can all participate in and prove our desire to keep our show on the air.

What we propose is a postcard/letter writing campaign that targets 2 Networks and 2 Media outlets each week. While we are not entirely giving up on Lifetime giving us another season, we would also like to let other Networks know that Blood Ties would be a great show for them to pick up. We have a wonderful opportunity right now to sell our show to them because they are all hurting from the writer’s strike and Blood Ties is not affected by it. This is in our favor as they look for other programming to air on their network.

Our first week will target Lifetime and the Sci-Fi Channel As well as E! Online and Entertainment Weekly. The media contacts will be by e-mail or feedback links only. Written postcards are best for Lifetime and Sci-Fi. Below the contact info we have included a few guidelines, just remember to keep your correspondence respectful and to the point!


* Lifetime will only read postcards. *

Lifetime Entertainment Services

Susanne Daniels
President of Entertainment
2049 Century Park East 840
Los Angeles, CA 90067

Or on their feedback page:§ion_id=1


Sci-Fi Channel – NBC Universal
30 Rockefeller Plaza 21st Floor
New York, NY 10112

Attn: Sr. VP of Programming



E! Online – Direct your comments to Kristin.

Go to and there will be a link on the right hand side that says “Ask Kristin”. Just fill in the info and make your comment. Be sure to let her know that the fans have NOT given up and are fighting to save our show!


Entertainment Weekly

Letters to the Editor – e-mail

Here are some guidelines to follow when composing your letter, postcard or e-mail:

– While some of you may have phone numbers to these contacts we urge you to NOT call them on the phone. Flooding their phone lines would only serve to anger them and this could work against us.

– Be professional, polite and positive (no Moonlight bashing). Even though Lifetime has not treated this show the way it should have been it wouldn’t look good to trash the network to others.

– No comparisons to Moonlight – let Blood Ties stand on it’s own.

– E-mails to the media should obviously be written differently and geared towards asking them to do a story on the show or our fight to save it.

– Letters should be heartfelt, honest and not too lengthy – right to the point (maybe two paragraphs max???)

– Letters should mention the fact that the show is written and filmed in Canada with Canadian writers, actors and production company and is not effected by the writer’s strike.

– Fangs, candy bars and other items should not accompany your handwritten letters. Postcards only please, no gim****s.

– Do not mention how cute the guys are or how beautiful Christina is unless we’re writing to People Magazine asking that they be considered as Sexiest Man/Woman of the Year. Refrain from fangirl comments like “I love the show because Henry is hot!” – we want to be taken seriously.

– Mention that the show is well written, well acted, funny, camp, and dramatic where it has to be.

– The show has drawn in new viewers since the show has gone off. This was accomplished by previous fans who directed the new fans to the show.
If your handwriting isn’t that good, type it but hand write the signature.

– This is a rare show that encourages family togetherness: Husbands and wives watched, mothers and daughters watched together. How many families do you know that sits down together to watch anything? They did to watch Blood Ties.

– Try to be direct and to the point. Don’t just put things to paper just to say something and fill the page.

– Remind them of all the sites where Blood Ties has a presence: HeyNeilsen,, Remind them of the E!Online article.
Also mention the map at
This could be our last chance everyone so let us all band together and help our show!

Stay tuned for our next group of targets, coming soon!


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RIP Heath Ledger January 22, 2008

January 23, 2008 at 2:53 pm (Entertainment)

 In Memoriam

 So sad! He was a great guy, superb actor, and wonderful father to an adorable little girl. He will be seriously missed. Heath was wonderful at what he did and loved it. His death is a tragic loss to the entertainment industry.

 I first saw him in Roar which was an excellent TV show that he did a great job at. Then I saw 10 Things I Hate About You. He was really fun in that one. The Patriot was another one of his great works. My favorite was A Knights Tale though. His take on Casanova was stunning. I have not seen his other movies but sometime soon I intend to watch in tribute to him.

 You can leave your thoughts on Heath and his movies here.

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